Saying goodbye when British.
It’s a strange feeling being the wife of an adventurer. Strange because in the preparation stage you’ve been beside your husband. Beside him during those first tentative and curious conversations about an idea that seemed utterly insane and completely amazing. Beside him during the endless discussions about this boat or that boat when trying to pick the perfect boat for the voyage. Beside him while having your heart break when you realize that your old boat Murre, a boat so full of memories will be sold and off on new adventures with new owners. Beside him, all the way through to the constant knock at the door from the Amazon delivery guy with cases of soup stacked so high it makes you a little ill, to the tiniest lightest box with a part so small inside it makes you wonder. Beside him every step of the way.
And yet, on Saturday October 28th 2017, as the wife of an adventurer, my physical place by Randall’s side will cease. I’ll be standing on the San Francisco shore watching him sail under the Golden Gate Bridge. How I will feel at that moment, I’m not entirely sure, but I have a hunch.
“How are you ok with this?” “You’re letting him go, alone, for a year?” “Aren’t you going with him?”
These are the most frequent questions I get from Randall’s startled admirers. Startled mostly because I exist at all. Most of the sailors he knows think I’m a figment of his imagination! Shocked that not only am I supportive of this idea but a driving force behind it. As they are the most common questions, I thought I’d go on the record with some answers.
How are you ok with this?
You see, I’m a huge fan of any enormous, life-changing idea. I was at a cocktail party recently, and a guest who knew me told another person, “Be careful sitting next to Joanna. If you have an interesting idea, she might convince you to do it.” I could go on about life being short and how playing it safe is just boring, but my motivation is much more about the journey. We all struggle with figuring out WHAT we’re supposed to do with our time on the planet. Most of us have no idea and are just looking. Randall’s known since he was about 10. I figure it’s about time he went out and did what he’s supposed to do.
Aren’t you going with him?
If you follow me on social media, you’ll know that I’m liberal with the hashtag #roadwarriorprincess. The key part of that phrase is “princess.” When Randall was 10 he was getting starry-eyed about the ocean. I had the slightly over-the-top experience of staying in a luxury hotel in Monaco. That experience in French Riviera solidified with many fabulous vacations since has decided a future for me that includes adventures with fabulousness. A year at sea with no shower, no fresh fruit and veggies, and in several occasions freezing temperatures capped with no sleep does NOT sound like fun to me. It is certainly not fabulous and not fitting of a princess.
You’re letting him go, alone, for a year?
Haven’t you said recently, “I can’t believe it’s been a year?” Yes, it’s a long time, and yet it’s not a long time. I do not doubt that there will be moments that seem to go on forever for us both; however, at the year I have no doubt we’ll both say, “That went by so fast!”
Of course, there is far more depth to all these questions and more to say. If you liked hearing from “the wife at home” about my experiences during Randall’s adventures, let me know. I’m thinking of making a post on the Figure 8 Voyage a regular thing.
My hunch on my reaction on launch day? You’re only going to get humor and sass from me. Why? I’m British. Being publically emotional and deep for British people is just bad manners, and we don’t do it. So as I stand on the sea wall on Saturday waving goodbye to Randall, I will be doing my very best not to cry in front of anyone. Trying to pull off the best acting job I’ve done in my life. Pretending that I won’t miss having Randall banging around the house every morning. Telling people I won’t miss our often ridiculous and hilarious conversations at the dinner table. Not admitting that I will stand in his closet once in awhile taking deep breaths, just to remember his smell. Nope, I’ll probably crack a completely inappropriate joke and tell everyone who stands still long enough how proud I am of what Randall is doing. I’m counting the days until I see him again.
Randall, my one request to you. Come back to me.
Understood! I couldn’t do it really and I admire you for your courage in letting go. And I recognize that Jo-Jo trait of ferreting out the best of someone and then forcing them to actualize it! Brilliant!
Love this post! It was fun following him out with the film crew Saturday (they all got a bit green) and I can’t wait to film him coming back in that gate so when the time comes you must jump on Carodon to welcome him home, unless of course we catch up to him in the northwest passage, in which case will see you back at the dock and will also try to make sure he gets back to you in one piece!
Fair winds Randall. Highly likely that the Monitor blade hit something and popped out. Tony
Haha! Great post Joanna! Jolly good for you!! Truly an adventure for you both.
I loved reading this!😗 But it still made me cry😢 You are proof that when you love someone you set them free to be exactly what they need to be.
We will be following along on Randall’s, and your journey right next to his very loving and supportive sister Lavonna. We have watched how emotional this has been for Lavonna aswell.😙
Thank you for putting into words how emotional a departure and good bye can be. Randall needs a good princess just like you.
If you need an ear or help, let me know. Uncle GARY❤️
I loved this so much. And for the record, not being British, I proudly gushed out my mushy American tears while reading this post. It’s so beautiful and beautifully written. I’m really looking forward to following you both through this journey!
You and Randall are both amazing adventurers, how fitting you found each other. Loved this post Joanna, all so perfectly you and brave. The sign off clutched at my heart, bon voyage Randall and look forward to meeting you in a year!
Joanna, An enjoyable read and wonderful to get your perspective. Keep your posts coming!
My Mom says Way to go! And Rule Brittania! She braved the foggy blasts of Fort Baker, and thought she saw the Moli through the mists (thanks to Tracker). With you to come home to, how can Randall not Rule the Azure Main?
A good read, Joanna. Keep it up.
What a great post. Definitely keep them coming. I’m going to get addicted to this adventure for both of you!
Well put. Put a tear in my eye. I know that the hardest part of the whole voyage for both of you will be not being together.
And don’t worry; following Randall on the lead up to this journey made it clear that he is a careful planner and an ardent player of the “what if” game. No need to “request.” He’s coming back.
You are my sunshine! Actually I wept when I saw him leave trough the fog, but I was alone so I suppose that was alright! Love you darling.xxx
Joanna, enjoyed your post!! May God be with you both through this journey!! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Randall!!
Wow, Joanna! That was very unBritish.
Hi Joanna
When you have a moment, please give me a call. Randall gave me a pair of Figure 8 Voyage socks and mentioned the person who made them. I’d like to get in touch with her.
Best,
Paul
Joanna, I enjoyed your post and would welcome a series. Surely, part of your vocation must be to encourage people to pursue what they’re supposed to do. Many Thanks! Anne Rein
Awesome. Thanks for sharing your unfiltered thoughts and emotions. Looking forward to following .